Clearing your loved one’s belongings after they’ve died

| 01/10/2015

teddybearcollectionEveryone is different, we know this. But when it comes to a death, and I’m talking about the death of a loved one, for some of us their belongings can be tricky to deal with. What do we keep and what do we throw away? Is it right to clear away all of the things that they used in life? Or is it right to keep them? Or is the right thing to throw some and keep some?

Some people are minimalist and some are hoarders. Then there are those that are somewhere in between. Some of us are sentimental and some just aren’t that way at all. For some people it is enough that their loved one lives on in their memory and they have no need to keep anything. Then there are others who want to stay surrounded by their things as a way of connection. The surest thing about all of this is that there is no right or wrong way. We do what we feel is right for our particular situation and don’t let anyone tell you differently.

But if you are like me and have already done a lot of clearing but have finally got stuck because now you are down to the nitty-gritty like personal commuters that still receive emails, external hard drives and various other digital storage systems with who knows what beautiful photos of the grand children on them? His designer clothes and other beautiful things, including his much loved teddy bear collection. The feeling is weighty and it comes into my mind often and takes up precious space and energy. What is the best way forward?

Yes, at a push I could do this part myself but I’ve done so so much, with the help of a friend, over the past two years that I feel now I could actually delegate this last part to someone else. Someone who does this for a living. A professional. Someone who has the time and patience to rescue the photos and store them for the future. Someone who is dispassionate and can easily see what is useful and what is not. I don’t want to do it by myself, I’m over it, but at the same time I want and need it to be done.

I had an “aha” moment at a John Demartini evening last week when he advocated the positive effects of delegating activities in your life that you just don’t want to do, or you are not able to do for one reason or another. It’s an act of self-love on my part.

So yes, you can do the clearing alone and/or with the help of friends and family – there are a ton of blogs about how to do that –  but you can also employ a professional. There will be people in your local area that will be doing this as a business. I just did a simple search online. We had a meeting and as yet haven’t done the clearing yet, I’m waiting to hear back from her with the plan and the price. 🙂

I’ll write again with the results and how it felt working with her.

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Category: after the death, death, healing

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